Exploring the Daddy/boy Dynamic

All relationship dynamics in the Leather community are going to operate a little differently depending on the people in those relationships. I will frequently start discussions on different dynamics, and hope to get good conversation going in the comments. For this post, I want to focus on the Daddy/boy dynamic because that is the dynamic I am a part of. And this is my own personal observation - another boy's may differ. There isn't, in my opinion, a singular way to do Daddy/boy.  These relationships can be primarily sexual in nature, and only explored in the bedroom (or dungeon) but they often transcend sexual role play and can become a way of life. That is how my dynamic works. As stated in the pinned post - 'What is a boy?', Daddies can be of either gender, sexuality, etc. A boy can also be of either gender/sexuality. It's what those individuals bring to the dynamic that is important. It is my opinion that a Daddy must possess particular attitudes and qualities to adequately teach and guide a boy. Daddies should be clear and firm in their expectations, they should not waiver on things such as protocol and responsibility. They should maintain a firm grip, but know when to loosen it and be affectionate and calming. They should carry themselves with pride and show pride in their boy as well. They should also not be afraid to show their vulnerable side to their boy. Real trust comes from being able to be vulnerable together, and allowing oneself to be honest and open, and authentic. And likewise, a boy should be absolutely devoted to, and loyal to their Daddy. A boy should always do their best to follow protocol, both established community protocol, and that set forth by their Daddy. A boy should strive to please their Daddy and to maintain a high level of respect and servitude both in private as well as in public. A boy should be completely open and honest and act with absolute integrity - especially in public, because the boy's attitude and behavior is a direct reflection of the guidance and training their Daddy has provided. A boy is best able to serve, and be an asset to their Daddy and their community when they are given credit when it is due and made to feel empowered in their submission. It is important to point out that not all boys have a Daddy and that doesn't make them any less important to the community and to their fellow boys. A boy without a Daddy should still carry themselves with pride and integrity, and be of service to the community, following protocol and staying ready for when their Daddy finds them.

Daddies are a boy's mentor and role model. As in other facets of our daily lives, a Daddy/boy relationship is about growth and focus - and growth leads to wisdom and emotional maturity. In a 24/7 relationship especially, true intimacy is achieved through a boy being able to give themselves over to their Daddy without fear or hesitation.  I also believe that a boy should be given independence and the freedom to make some decisions in line with their Daddy's rules and expectations. But they should also be held accountable for their decisions, and when a decision is made that goes outside the rules, they should expect to be reprimanded and take that willingly and with humility. Even when being punished - a boy should feel grateful for the opportunity to learn and grow.

Because these relationship dynamics can vary so much, it is important when under consideration by a potential Daddy, that honest communication take place, and that both the Daddy and boy set forth their expectations and negotiate to make sure everyone is on the same page. This is vital to a healthy, fulfilling Daddy/boy relationship. For example, a Daddy who desires a very submissive boy who gives up complete control, may not be happy with a boy like me, who is playful and rambunctious. A Daddy who wants a playful, silly boy may not be well suited for a boy who wishes to be a slave.  It is so important for a boy to communicate his limits, special needs, fears and interests to a potential Daddy, as well as for that Daddy to clearly communicate their expectations, and consequences for not meeting those expectations.

When the dynamic is explored with integrity, honesty and pride in protocol and community, the Daddy/boy dynamic is a wonderful space to be in. I hope to see more and more boys out in the community, and to get back to a place where protocol is of the utmost importance - not just between a Daddy and a boy - but within our Leather community as well.

In Love and Leather,
boy Lucky