Living Leather - Basic Protocol

I know that times have changed, and not too many people stress Old Guard Leather protocol these days. In my opinion, we've lost a lot of what made the Leather community special, as well as the ability to tell 24/7 Leather folk from those who aren't. An unfortunate side affect of this change, is that much of what was considered common respect in our community is going out the window. I see this as a serious problem in our communities. If you look around, you see very few people practicing basic protocol - and a very few respecting those who do.

I was first introduced to the Leather community back in the early 90s, and first got involved myself a few years later. I was mentored by a wonderful man named Padraig Hall in San Diego, California. Padraig taught me much of what Old Guard protocol was. I loved the formality and the seriousness of it. It felt like being part of something special and it was definitely something to be proud of.  I left Leather for quite a few years due to a personal situation, and when I was re introduced to the lifestyle by my Daddy, things were so different. When we go to the local Leather bar now, I see so many "vanilla" people playing on the spanking bench and St. Andrew's cross - pretending to whip one another, taking selfies, etc. I see and hear people who identify themselves as submissives, blatantly disrespecting Dominants and speaking out in ways that are anything but submissive. When people are involved in a scene, onlookers stand around talking, laughing, taking pictures, and getting in the way. I've witnessed people grabbing at, and otherwise touching someone still in head space, just coming from a scene, and just walking around grabbing and groping at people, especially those they know (or should know) are submissives. This is a very hot button issue for me, because it happens to me all the time. I'm not talking about hugs from friends. I'm talking about random people who I am not on an intimate level with, coming up and grabbing my ass, as well as other things, without consent. My close friends likely know that my Daddy has no problem with non sexual touch from those I am comfortable with - but others would have no idea whether a specific restriction might be in place. Back in the day, they would ask. Now, people just touch and grab whomever and whatever they please. All of these things are so detrimental to our community and club - and those who are living Leather.

I want our community to have a safe space to express who we are, and to learn from one another, and socialize with other Leather folk. I'm not suggesting that this can't happen with non Leather folk around. But I am suggesting that anyone wishing to hang out at a Leather bar educate themselves on basic protocol. And I am absolutely suggesting that anyone identifying themselves as part of the Leather community educate themselves on protocol and respect others accordingly. So with that being said, here's some very basic Leather public protocol, as well as a link for anyone wishing to dig into Old Guard protocol deeper to learn even more.

* Basic good manners are a great way to start - be mindful of how you speak to others, regardless of whether you identify as a Dominant or a submissive. There's just never a good reason to be rude to anyone.

* Avoid talking and otherwise being disruptive when a scene is in progress. If you must talk to someone else, do so as quietly as possible so that you aren't disturbing the scene. Be mindful that while both the Dominant and submissive involved in the scene are in head space, the submissive in the scene likely has heightened senses and even a loud whisper can be intrusive. Loud conversation and laughter while observing a scene are never ok. Once the scene is over, give those involved, the submissive especially, some time and space before approaching and touching them.

* Respect others' property - don't touch what doesn't belong to you if you don't know absolutely that it is ok. Don't touch someone's gear, including collars, toys, hoods, floggers, etc. without asking permission. Definitely don't touch someone's submissive if you haven't already been given permission.

* If you're a Dominant - that doesn't mean that every submissive you encounter is in service to you.

* Submissives - I cannot stress this enough - you are expected to act with utmost respect and humility. At all times, be respectful of any and all Dominants in your presence. Snarky, rude comments are not ok, especially around Dominants - regardless of whether you like them or not. Remember that your behavior in public is a direct reflection of your Dominant, and if you aren't collared and hope to be - it is also a reflection of your attitude and place in the Leather community.

To read more about Old Guard protocol, go to  http://www.hotlanta.com/SirRealX/oldguard.htm

These are really basic protocols that would make our public spaces more inviting to those who live Leather, and a better place for everyone to learn and explore. It's really very simple - the guidelines for being a good Leather or kink person are essentially the same as generally being a good person. Be kind and respectful to others, watch out for, and support each other, respect your home bar(s) and the people in it. Never stop exploring and learning, and having fun in your environment - and setting examples for others new to the community.


As a Leather boy, and a board member of a Leather boy club - I want to breathe some life back into basic protocol, and encourage not just other boys - but everyone - to get back to really living Leather - both privately as well as publicly.

In Love and Leather
boy Lucky